What You’ll Discover in Loveteacher Secrets of the Sexual Surrogate
Loveteacher – Secrets of the Sexual Surrogate
Shyness is a major problem the 40-Fern Arden is a professional looking product. the Face as he speaks about being a virgin even at this advanced age.
“Don’t worry,” the Manhattan sex therapist tells he. “We can work on this.”
If the doctor’s voice sounds confident, it’s with good reason. Arden is the Founder of A private clinic located near Central Park West, that offers a highly specialized type of treatment of Treatment for psychosexual issues like this.
She uses an all-inclusive approach to her work.-Female staff of Sex surrogates are officially called “surrogate partners,” Who gives clients one?-On-One coaching in caressing techniques and kissing, as well as feeling relaxed with another individual the Nude and, undoubtedly, the Sex acts by themselves.
“The focus is not sex, but familiarity and intimacy,” Arden insists, who was the founder the 22 years ago, Abel 2 Counseling Center. “We provide an environment, not for sexual pleasure, but for sexual learning.”
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The licensed sexologist never spoke about her practice. the She says that media were used before because they are more effective. “I have famous clients.” But she agreed to talk to The Post following Friday’s release of the independent movie “The Sessions,” This is already creating Oscar buzz.
It says the Real-Your life story of A California sex substitute who accepts a man with a severe disability and wants to have sex before his death.
“People tend to be ill-informed about what a surrogate partner does,” Arden hopes this, explains Arden. the Award-A winning film the late polio sufferer Mark O’Brien and his surrogate, Cheryl Cohen Greene, will shine a much-You need to be able to see the details the profession.
“They think of it pejoratively, the same as a sex worker, but it’s not,” She continues. “Just as you have legitimate massage therapists and people who run massage parlors, there is a huge difference between them.”
In 1973, however, a group of people was formed. of Los Angeles-based sexsurrogates attempted to accredit the profession. Today the International Professional Surrogates Association has around 30 surrogates who are registered the US, though Arden’s staff are not members. Per the organization’s code of Ethics, surrogates need to have completed two-Week-long training program the Society and work under the Supervision (but not observation). of A licensed sex therapist.
However, one expert in law says that the It is still illegal to conduct business.
Derrelle Janey, a defense attorney at the Manhattan law firm Gottleib and Gordon likens the sex surrogacy practice to prostitution — after all, money is being received for sex: “It doesn’t matter if the client is disabled, it doesn’t matter if he is suffering from some kind of emotional distress — that just makes it kind of sad. They have agreed to pay money for a sexual experience, and everyone understands that’s the transaction. In my view, that’s prostitution.”
Why has Arden been able her business to run so well for so many years without losing sight of the end goal? of the Janey says law: “Maybe this kind of thing has not been a priority of the district attorney.”
Arden holds a Ph.D. the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, insists what she does is not prostitution; it’s a public service. Scrolling through her Web site, however, you’d be forgiven for thinking otherwise. A number of items are listed on one page. of women by age, height and weight details — most of They look so young and slimming like a dream. “Debbie: 29 years old; 5-foot-2; 100 lbs.” Arden also mentions their intelligence and personalities. “They are sincere, patient and caring,” Arden writes on the site, and that she has surrogates “will have college degrees.”
It is exactly like the Helen Hunt portrays Helen Hunt’s character in “The Sessions,” the three surrogate partners currently on Arden’s staff are “professionally trained clinicians” She will ask them to report back after each session.
“You would typically need a partner to resolve most sexual problems and for single men that is obviously an issue,” Arden estimates that clients pay between $3,000-5,000 for an average course. of You can have 12-15 sessions with her in separate sessions. the surrogate.
Arden is not present at the sessions, which take place in her office. the Interaction between the For the client the surrogate. Instead, she gets a complete report of the Progress from the surrogate and follow-up with the men afterward.
“Most of the men who come to my center are sexually inexperienced, so the surrogate program allows them to progress with their treatment.”
She believes it would be “cruel” They should not be treated and left alone “remain dysfunctional” Until they find a companion to take them to therapy.
“People have this perception of a sex surrogate as: ‘Oh wow, I am going to have a sexual teacher and we’re going to have hot sex!’ but it’s not that way at all,” Arden insists on testing her surrogates and clients for STDs every two months.
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“The sessions with the Surrogates evolve slowly. It’s a very gradual, sensual process of It takes some getting used to holding hands and kissing.
“[The clients] could come into treatment for several visits before they even take their clothes off.”
Sarah, one of Arden’s surrogate partners — who agreed to speak to The Post on condition of anonymity and declined to give her age — carefully fielded questions about the Practical side of Her job.
“I usually begin sessions by working on eye contact and the way they hold their bodies,” She explains that her background is sexual psychology and social worker. “We use massage and touch therapy, so the Client can learn how to be in the Moment, become comfortable with their bodies, and then be mindful of the sensations.
“We take a mind-and-body approach and slowly remove anxiety out of the equation.”
Asked whether she ever has penetrative sex with clients, she won’t comment.
She is also very discreet in her private life.
“I don’t feel compelled to tell everybody that I meet [that I work as a sexual surrogate],” She says. “There are certain people in my life who understand what I do and are very supportive of it.
“But there are also people in my life who there is no reason for me to even go there.”
By contrast, Greene, 68, whose notes about her work with polio victim O’Brien were used as part of the Screenplay “The Sessions,” She is more than happy to be publicly revealed.
Her memoir “An Intimate Life: Sex, Love and My Journey as a Surrogate Partner” Next month will see her endorsement of the book. the movie. It depicts the period when she was 42 and O’Brien was a 36-Year-Berkeley graduate student who hired her to help him get his virginity back. Despite not living the most of He lived a long life with an iron lung and continued to have sex until his death at 49.
“I first saw it in January at the Sundance Film Festival and, like everyone else, I laughed, I cried,” Greene lives in Berkeley, Calif. He has been a a “surrogate-partner therapist” For more than 30 year. “It captures the love and trust which sexual surrogacy is really all about.”
Greene claims she earns about $50,000 per year and currently has clients consisting of of Men 40 years and older. One customer died recently at 92. Ten percent of Her clients include virgins who were so involved in their academic careers or their careers that it was difficult to enjoy their relationships. “They’re like ‘Oh my God, I don’t want to come across as inexperienced,’ ” Greene says of Her patients. “They finally say, ‘Life is too short. I’ve got to go into surrogate therapy.’ ”
Greene is married to a “wonderful, supportive partner,” For two, the cost is $300-One hour session of sex and says that penetrative sex usually takes place on the sixth visit. She’s clearly satisfied in the job.
“I look at our work like this: If you go to a prostitute, it’s like going to a restaurant. You can read the You choose the menu, they prepare it and they hope you enjoy it.
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“With a surrogate, it’s like going to cooking school,” She goes on. “You get the ingredients, you learn to make a meal together — and then the point is to go out into the world and share that and not come back.”
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