Ann Weiser Cornell – The Radical Acceptance of Everything

This article first appeared in the November 1994 issue. of The Concentrating on Connection

Focusing, as it has been taught, is like being in two different worlds. In one world, we have absolute trust for the body and the body’s process. In another world, certain experiences are accepted and some are rejected. The inner critic, like thoughts, is considered an interruption in this second world. Felt senses are only available in the trunk. of The body and chronic symptoms of illness are not felt senses.

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Since the beginning of my life, I have known that my experiences are contrary to traditional teachings. I have discovered, for example, that the felt senses can be found outside the boundaries of traditional teaching. “classic” Concentrate on one area of throat, chest, belly. Compassion for the critic is more effective than ignoring it, as I have discovered. Recently, however, I have noticed a new synthesis in the practice. of Both in my own life and as a teacher, I focus on the important things. Many seemingly different threads have been revealed to be one cloth. The Name what I would say to this new understanding “the radical acceptance of everything.”

How can we approach teaching and practicing? of How can you focus with an open and fresh mind? What if we let it go? of The various techniques and strategies we have been taught are just a few of the many. Let’s start with three simple statements.

(1) Focusing means spending time with something that isn’t yet clear, or something that has more to its story than can be expressed in words.

(2) A bodily process can be more than just the physical body.

(3) The Trustworthy bodily processes are

If you believe that Focusing can by defined by any number, of These are the steps“Focusing is a ___ step process.”) or that Clearing a Space is a necessary part of every Focusing process, then you probably won’t be willing to follow me along this road. We should agree that Focusing is more than the steps. of Being With What’s There.

Let’s start with the essence. of What follows is what if you focus on the three statements and leave everything else aside? Let’s see.

Felt Senses outside the Trunk Area
I was taught to guide a person’s awareness into the trunk — throat, chest, and belly — and if they felt something outside that area, to ask them to notice what they felt in the trunk about that. This is an example: “You might notice if you’re feeling something in your throat, chest, stomach area that goes with that ache in your jaw.” And of There are many other ways. of This is how I would phrase it. This is how it was used in the past.

Leonardo da Vinci, as a child, was told by his father that a nail inserted in a tree would make it taller each year. Everyone knew this to be true. He tried it and found it not true. Trees grow from the top and a nail placed at an exact height will never grow taller.

I treated the senses in my periphery when I tried. of They behaved as felt senses in my body, and also with others. They “made steps,” You can openly see meaning and then pay attention to it. This eventually leads to feeling shifts.

If the bodily process is reliable, it might offer the feeling senses exactly in the area. of The body will feel the most at home in its place. It is not respectful to make the sense move first before it can be attended too. of the body’s wisdom.

Physical Symptoms and Felt Senses
I was taught that physical symptoms could not be felt. If a person has a physical symptom they may be able feel it. This was the best that Focusing could do. Then I started hearing about people who didn’t follow “the rules” And who experienced amazing results by treating physical symptoms with the felt senses. Two articles were published by me of these accounts in this newsletter: Joe Tein’s “Focusing with Pain,” (The Focusing Connection September 1986) and Shirley Marten’s “And Then the Pain Went Away,” (The Focusing on Connection September 1987

This was my first attempt at it in 1990. That was the night I was going to teach five students.-Day workshop at Omega Institute with Kevin McEvenue. He had also joined me to trade Focusing. I was depressed because I had a sore throat, a familiar symptom which always led to a cold, and I didn’t want to have a cold. Kevin was also interested in my story.-Rule-follower. Said cheerfully. “Let’s focus on it!” The sore throat can be interpreted as a feeling sensation. It is a sign that I am putting pressure on myself to be a better person. “expert.” The soreness was gone by the next morning and I felt great. No cold.

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This was my second attempt at this in England last month, after a twenty-year-old cold.-Four hours. I felt four to five symptoms. of rawness in my lungs. After I had heard its inner meaning, having to do with having taken on someone else’s feelings, I had one of Amazing experiences of my life — I felt the symptom leave my body in the space of About thirty seconds. It was not unusual that the cold continued, with all other symptoms continuing to run their course. I do wonder what would have happened if I’d had the time to focus on each one in turn!

However, I have found in my work with myself and clients that treating a physical symptom as a felt sense doesn’t always lead to an alleviation of the symptom, and that it doesn’t matter. I have one client with a chronic condition. of Dry eyes. She often starts sessions with awareness. of Her eyes are open to the possibilities and she sees meaning in that. She finds this a rich area, even though it hasn’t changed. I’m convinced that even a broken leg would have a felt sense “quality” Oder “aspect” if attended to in this way, and would yield meaning, even though we wouldn’t expect the leg to knit instantly.

Our ingrained assumptions about experiences seem to be that they are either physical or emotionally. But not both. I believe this is due to the tragic history. of The mind-Body split. If we see with fresh eyes, why couldn’t something be both physical and emotional? Why couldn’t it yield emotional meaning through Focusing, even though it has also been accurately physically diagnosed?

Thoughts and Other “Distractions.”
For many years I considered thoughts intrusions to Focusing. What a Focuser might say to me “My mind is coming in,” Ich würde sagen, “Maybe you could thank your mind for its help and ask it to step aside for now.” If a focuser says, “I’m getting distracted,” Ich würde sagen, “Maybe you could let that distraction go and come back to your body.”

Then, a radical new possibility arose in my consciousness. What if distractions were not there? What if everything that comes was a part of the whole? of The process can be accepted as such.

I saw a student-guide working with a new person during a training seminar. The Focuser said that he felt nothing in the body. The Student worked hard to make him feel something. One point, the focuser reported, “Thoughts about my work are coming into my head.” My teachings were followed by the student asking the focuser not to think about those thoughts. As I watched the session, I became more aware of the possibility that the thoughts were a part. of It was a process. Perhaps the thoughts had been the body’s way of Introduce content and meaning. What would have happened if the guide said? “Maybe you could notice how you feel in your body about those thoughts about your work.”

When a focuser tells my they are distracted today, I reply, “Maybe the distraction is relevant.” If it’s not, we’ll soon know. But let’s not throw it out before we check whether it might have been the body’s way of Bring the next piece.

I recently did my first session in a workshop setting. It was her intuitive feeling. of She felt a slight pressure in her abdomen. But it was constantly disappearing as she tried to hold it. Finally, she looked at me and opened her eyes.

“It isn’t working,” She said. “I keep getting distracted.”

“Maybe the distraction is relevant somehow,” I was a fan.

“I don’t think so,” She said. “A black cat walked in and sat down.”

“OK,” I said. “Let’s let the black cat be here. Is it still here?”

She closed her eyes, looked at the screen, and then nodded.

“So see if you can sense what mood it’s in.”

Then she felt, and then said: “It’s scared.”

“Oh, so let it know you hear that it’s scared. And then see if it might want to let you know what it’s scared about.”

“I get an image of my mother, and a choking in my throat. Guilt. I wish I could take care of my mother better.”

This was the secret to the session. She acknowledged it and felt relief and release.

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After the session was over, the focuser told us that the black cat had been the one she’d had when she was a child, which had been killed.

A black cat entered the circle, acting as if it was the owner of the place, an hour later. We gasped — how did that happen? It was the last touch to a beautiful session.

I’m left with renewed appreciation that anything which comes in a session is probably a part of This is a process that should not be overlooked.

The Critic.
What would happen if our radical acceptance was extended? of All to Mr. You are also a critic? What if the inner critic is not an interruption but a natural part? of What is the process?

I was inspired by my most recent series of workshops with this new possibility in mind, freshly inspired by Barbara McGavin’s article in the September 1994 Focusing Connection. I taught a class of three previously.-Part approach to the critic. First, ask it gently to step aside, second, if that doesn’t work, ask it its positive purpose, and third, if nothing else works, ask the critic to move around in front of The focuser should ask the question. “What hurt you or worried you or scared you that you’d be talking to me like that?” It was an extremely elaborate set. of Sometimes, techniques can take a lot of time.

When I started doing Focusing Center sessions of The Hague, I found myself treating my appearance of The inner critic is presented in a simpler and more natural way. The focuser reported. “Now my critic is coming in,” Ich würde sagen, “Ah, yes. And maybe you could notice if there’s some feeling or emotion, right there.”

It’s hard to describe how wildly successful this was! You would think that people would talk about the critic’s anger or contempt, or report the downtrodden felt sense of This is the part that was criticized. The truth is that this was not what happened. By feeling and reporting on the emotions that were triggered by the critic, the focuser redirected his attention back to the core. of The Focusing process. “It’s grief,” One woman reported. “There’s so much fear there,” “A man said that.” Each case showed that being close to this emotional quality was a key factor in a deepening process. The The interruption of critic was not a problem, it was just a way to part of The process chose to express its self.

This is the radical acceptance of Everything opens up new possibilities of Trust is a feeling of Focusing brings about greater wholeness. No longer are we guardians, but guides of The gatekeeper, watching to let in certain experiences and deny others. Instead, we are the holders of The open space that allows for whatever you want to bring. We don’t fear of What comes in the focuser. We know that there is no enemy in the inner world. We help the focuser to have a positive relationship with whatever comes. of listening and acceptance or, if that isn’t possible, a relationship with the part that finds it hard to accept what’s there. The Spirit is all around us of Not exclusion, but inclusion. The Attitude is everything of welcome.

The Radical acceptance of Everything conforms to the spirit of It works when you focus. Try it out for yourself and let me know what you think.

This article appears at The Radical Acceptance of EverythingBy Ann Weiser CornellBarbara McGavin, PhD (Calluna Press, 2005). Learn more about the book.

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