What You’ll Discover in Kevin Hogan Body Language
Positive Body Language. istock.com/lisegagneWhen you and I hang out with someone “new”,….
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Kevin Hogan – Body Language
Frightening Messages You Didn’t Mean to Send
Pay attention Body Language. istock.com/Moncherie You’re having what you consider to be a pretty important conversation over dinner.
The atmosphere?
Excellent. It’s actually perfect. White candles…just lit, white wine, a few lillies. You look good.
This evening everything is running smoothly. You couldn’t have asked for better. You were surprised at how well the new suit fit and the color actually worked.
You’ve been talking for what seems like 5 minutes. You were on a roll, and you stayed there. You created a vivid picture, and it is obvious that she is there.
She’s sitting right by you and she goes to give you a kiss. Excellent. She smiles and then goes back to her wine, completely unaware that her hair is being fixed.
Unconsciously, you mirror her behavior.
You don’t even think about it because EVERYTHING is going so perfectly tonight! You smooth your hair.
She knows she is primping. But, for some reason, she immediately feels nervous and uncomfortable.
You are trying to figure out how to phrase the BIG question. You just have to say it. It’s impossible to go wrong!!
“I think we should go for it.”
You smile a deep heartfelt genuine smile.
Instantly, she thinks “NO WAY!”
It’s out of nowhere and she has no idea why she feels that way. She’s a little surprised, but she has come to trust her gut on all things.
She states the response we all say when we are fearful and know we probably shouldn’t be.
“Let me think about it.”
You’re dumbfounded.
90 Miles an Hour … to Instant Stop
Everything was going great, very well up until the second.
“Sorry?”
“I said, I’ll think about it.”
You heard it right. She will think about what she didn’t say ten minutes ago. “I definitely want to do that!”
What’s the matter?
Your expression is both quizzical, and perhaps a bit shocked.
She immediately notices your furrowed brow, slightly opened mouth, and the eyelids drawing closer together as your chin presses to the right and your head tilts slightly back to the left.
Now, she has many thoughts. They are all negative.
He thinks I’m being stupid? I don’t understand why you give me that look. You are a complete jerk.
“What’s wrong?”
Trigger Body Language. istock.com/Moncherie The tone is not terribly distrusting or hostile, but you’ve just experienced a temperature change of arctic proportions. You get out of it.
“Nothing at all.”
But it’s too late.
Ten minutes ago, she was sure that she would do it.
Everything has changed.
“When would you like me to call you about it?”
You attempt to recuperate. You weren’t prepared for her chilly response. Now you have to try and capture that warm breeze again, but you intuitively and rightfully know that isn’t going to happen.
Everything moved perfectly. Perfect. Nothing could have gone wrong, but a sinkhole couldn’t have swallowed a car in Chicago faster than she sucked the energy out of your brain.
“Doesn’t matter. Sometime next week I guess,” The temperature continues to drop.
He’s really trying to pressure me. I don’t like it. I’m not sure I even like him. I believe I was wrong about him.
What happened?
How can everything go well and then INSTANTLY turn without you ever having said a negative word…or no words at all??!!
The unseen body language signal…
Be careful: You have just sent the FEAR Signal
What could possibly go wrong?
Relationship Body Language While you were delivering, you fiddled with your hair 1 second. “the closing statement.”
She has met thousands of people in her lifetime. She has no idea that her brain has connected people who she’s listening to and the triggers of the one person who lied to her when she smoothed her hair years ago. She doesn’t remember it. She wouldn’t remember it. It’s long buried from consciousness. The Anxiety Trigger, hidden from view, is still there and will continue to be for her entire life.
You did nothing wrong.
As you brushed your hair and asked her to do it, her brain exploded with adrenaline and cortisol. It changed her nonconscious like to conscious fear to conscious fear to politely backing away and to simply hate you.
1 second.
You couldn’t have known until today.
Now you are aware.
Body Language Signals: Delivering the Message With Elegance And Safety
When you deliver a message that matters, you don’t touch anything. You don’t touch the wine glass. You don’t touch your glasses. You don’t touch the table. You don’t touch a fork. You don’t touch…anything. These are the COMMON FEAR TRIGGERS that people can experience in conversation.
Every day, people miss out on opportunities in all areas of life because they switch. “yes” To “no” Through internal triggers
You just tripped on her “Fear Switch.”
You wouldn’t have meant for it to happen in a million years. Obviously. However, her gut directs her brain and in this instance her brain is directing her mind. That means that you are hearing. “no.”
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She’ll go home or visit a friend and explain what happened. She will tell her friend that you were rude and difficult to accept.
When asked for specifics, she won’t be able to give even one.
“I don’t know, I just got a bad feeling about him. He’s a bit of a jerk.”
“I thought you wanted to go for it with this guy?”
“I did but he blew it. I saw who he really is.”
In a split second, the girl was able to go from experiencing deity and Dante in Hello.
People often ask me this question. “what are the most important body language signals?”
Answer?
“It’s the one that triggers a cortisol release in the brain. It’s the one that kicks in the fear and anxiety that you couldn’t have known without having watched a video of the person’s life.”
If you’re going to “gesture” Communicating the big idea should be clear, specific, and clearly illustrated.
What’s that mean?
Body Language Fear Triggers
Communication Skills. Itockphoto/izusek The most common fear triggers are gestures and fiddling. The 100 negatives are more common than the positives if a person hears 20 negative things per year. 100 positives are like 100 goldfish in a sea of 20 Great White Shark negative experiences.
It is important to recognize their nonverbal cues. It can be very important.
But the reality is that being aware of YOUR RESPONSE & BEHAVIORS to their nonverbal cues which they then observe, are really where problems begin. This is where most problems begin. “yes” To become “no.”
What are some common body language signs that can trip you up?
Learn Body LanguageBreak it Down
You can build rapport by mimicking their behavior. This can lead to simple bonds. However, it can backfire. This doesn’t happen because someone becomes aware of your mirroring them. This moment may only come once in your life.
It is possible for them to have a negative reaction that was triggered by a cue or gesture you gave, but it’s not conscious. You didn’t know it happened. You didn’t think anything. You didn’t mean anything. You didn’t consciously do anything. You simply did what a normal person would do, and it just happened.
It goes even further.
Body Language Acute Awareness is the Strategy
As you observe people’s nonverbal communication, you must be present and IN the present conscious moment. They aren’t. You could ask them. “Are you here?” They will, of course, emerge from nonconsciousness or say “yes.”
They are not even here. You must be present and aware of their behaviors because if you like this person, you’ll naturally yawn when they yawn. It could be great. You could almost always bet on that.
But…don’t kid yourself into thinking that one person catching another person’s yawn IS a liking signal. It could be. It MIGHT BE.
Bodies don’t read popular self-Literature on body language.
They react to every stimulus. People rarely respond positively.
They can. It is possible. It’s not all that common. For every 100 negative “reactions”There may be 5 positive reactions.
How are you supposed to be able to read all body language cues displayed by people while communicating in a negative manner with the person you’re talking to?
Obviously you can’t, but you and I can make some broad generalizations.
Decoding Body LanguageAvoid Negative Gestures
Negative Body Language Signals. Itock.com/perkmeup One can see that the majority of times someone is pointed at in their lives, the emotions they displayed in the most severe and negative moments were actually negative.
If you look at people with angry faces, it’s easy to see that they don’t feel anything positive.
(This is a challenge for me. I tend to scowl when I’m intensely focused. My look of determination looks like a lot of people’s “I want to kill you right now,” look.)
It is easy to predict that people will feel negative effects from an increase in volume. You can be certain that passion is perceived as antagonizing by many people. This holds true regardless of what the content is.
Reading Body Language: Brains are trigger dependent
They don’t think. They aren’t thinking right now. They aren’t thinking yet.
They only experience triggers. They certainly do absorb information, but the body’s job is to keep you away from fear. This is the primary goal.
After your death is confirmed, the body will seek comfort, food, and sex.
The key point here is to recognize that you can be emotionally intelligent enough to interpret their reactions to you…and they almost certainly won’t be.
This does not mean you are exempt. “complete control.” On the contrary, you haven’t seen a complete video of every moment of that person’s life. They don’t know which 100 cues or gestures are their biggest triggers.
It is impossible to know which cues or gestures will actually trigger a positive reaction.
Positive feelings can be very beneficial.
Let me now share with you some positive triggers.
Body Language: Triggering positive feelings …
Body Language Strategie: Make Their Fears into Excitement
Positive Body Language. istock.com/lisegagneWhen you and I hang out with someone “new”Our conscious mind is much more alert than usual. You can tell if someone is aware 10% of the time that they are conversing with you. This will likely show that they are conscious 30% of the time. It is important to have a higher level of awareness.
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The heart beats quicker when “new people” They are everywhere.
“Excitement” It is often referred to as “fear” “fear” Every now and again, it is felt as “excitement” Because they are almost the same thing.
The difference is the brief checking of the nonconscious-body experience by the conscious mind.
How can you get people to consciously feel their lives? “fear” As “excitement?”
You must catch it quickly. It takes approximately one second.
“Cool?!”
“Exciting?!”
“Nice?!”
“Wow!”
Select a word out of an ordinary list. The word must be quickly articulated and the accent on the last letter or sound must be heard with a rising pitch.
If you are with “new people,” We are more present with older people than we are with them. Older people tend to be complacent and follow old patterns of behavior. This causes us to instantly fall back to nonconsciousness.
In this context, returning to nonconsciousness simply means that you return to what has happened in the familiar and comfortable environment. Point? It is not an imminent threat. The brain is activated when the mind is at rest or distracted by another activity.
Bodies don’t like to be in consciousness because being conscious requires the experience of STRESS.
Body Language Predictably Positive Signals
OK, can you think of another positive body language triggers?
Be aware that each person is unique. However, there are positive cues.
This is what you should be thinking about in every conversation.
Your face should be closer to the ground than your partner’s. This will increase your chances of feeling control, comfort, and maybe even feelings of love, connection, and your ability to feel connected.
Why?
Positive Body Language. www.isock.com/lovleah If you were a little one, your Mom or dad probably looked at you as they spoke to you. If you had a crummy Mom or Dad, this probably didn’t happen, but most people have generally positive experiences with adults when their face is at their level or lower.
I don’t need to hang out with enough 5-They like me more than year-olds. I can’t shake them.
Why? Because I get right down to it. “their level” Live in their world. Adults don’t do this, which is why kids talk to a lot of thighs when they are little. They can see nothing beyond their stomachs. If they are not close enough to an adult, they can only see their nose, chin and hair. Children do not have the same advantages as their thighs. Thighs are not a good place to express love, connection, and empathy.
The few who get down to the child’s level? They are often liked.
The same applies to adults.
If you can bring your eyes to a plane that is closer to the ground than theirs, you’ll PROBABLY trigger positive feelings.
Probably.
Take a look at these:
When one person is able to dominate another, it does little good. This factor is a major trigger for negative reactions. Most of them are not.-Negative triggers include people being below their eye level.
If you’re 6’ 5” and she is 5’ 6” you have your work cut out for you.
In cases like this, physical distance from the other person can be slightly increased so that you don’t appear to be an adult to their child, even if they are 40.
Next week, we’ll talk about more cues and clues to nonverbal experience both from your point of view and theirs so you can optimize each interaction and cause as many positive feelings as possible while bringing out fewer negative reactions.
Are you making these? Body Language Mistakes?
Research shows that you can make a first impression in less than 4 seconds. This is what you use as a guideline for future communication with those you meet.
In the first 4 seconds, people will make judgements about you and tell their stories.
This person is not someone I would buy from.
I will like (or won’t) this person.
This person is kind to me (or not).
This person is intelligent to me.
You can’t make a good first impression through your words alone. Nonverbal communication can have as much as 60% to 75% of the impact on a communication. Nonverbal communication is the most important aspect. However, it’s also the most misunderstood.
Every action – or even the smallest micro-action – communicates subconsciously to others, so people could like (or not like) you through your gestures… without even knowing exactly why.
You could be making the most wonderful compliments or praise to people, but it’s difficult to gain their trust or approval if your words contradict your nonverbals.
These body language photos will help you understand some of nonverbal communication. This girl is flirting. “But her arms are crossed, that’s defensive,” Others might disagree. They are wrong. They are wrong. She tilts her head to the left, tries hard not to smile too much, but she is still looking straight at you. She loves you.
Flirting and sexual body language is something you can quickly spot in a woman’s nonverbal communication in both business and personal contexts.
When you understand the signs, you can easily identify the liar in your business and personal life. I’ll show you this later.
Kevin Hogan Nonverbal Communication ExpertIf you are interested in learning the nonverbal secrets to love, romance, and closing the deal, we welcome you! The analysis I’m going to give you as part of this preview includes both “liking” judgements. It is difficult to examine human behavior in a snapshot in time.
This guy is a great example of what you can see. By looking at him, that smirk should mean he’s being perceived poorly and he’s fighting for his life. The first girl’s look at him from the side is not what you would expect. Women inspect over their shoulders with curiosity…until that split second where liking or not occurs. These two will connect…
This preview will help you to notice a few subtle cues you can start to pick up.
You will discover a lot about nonverbal communication if you pay attention.
What if You Could Learn to Be a Master?
Once “armed” with the insights you’re going to learn shortly, you have an overpowering edge in life. Nonverbal communication is a key component of my success. It’s certainly a key component to the success I’ve experienced.
People frequently refer to me as being able to recognize hesitation, liking and deception. I also teach this skill to others. If I see a video of someone, today, and one of them before a terrible event (a criminal offense), I can often tell with considerable accuracy whether that person is innocent or guilty. I’ll show you how.
I’m also able to send covert messages (through movements and gestures) that generate liking from other people that almost no one knows how to do. I’ll show you how to do this as well.
Now you have the chance to learn my deepest secrets and use them to your advantage in life.
All these are my words “accomplishments,” only to share with you that I’ve taught thousands of others and I will show you how to use this skill set to achieve great results in life.
I feel fortunate that I’ve gained the trust and respect of the most reputable people and media outlets in the world.
And now, you can leverage that knowledge and years of experience to have the skills of a specialist in nonverbal communication… in almost no time flat!
I’ve been educated to know what really works. My 20-years of scientific research, practice, and studies have been a culmination of my own personal experience.
If you are looking to cut down on learning time, get on the right path, and be able to find hidden messages like an expert, you can count upon me to guide you through each step.-By-Step training to nonverbal mastery
The Complete Body Language Home Study Course
Kevin Hogan’s Body Language CD/DVD program
If you want to get the same training as my seminar attendees at the comfort and privacy of your own home – at a tiny fraction of they are paying- then you’ll be quite pleased with the Complete Body Language Study at home with CD/DVD or online.
This program teaches you how to quickly understand and use nonverbal communication correctly. In most cases, you can read the REAL signs of liking, disliking, honesty or deception… in less than 10 seconds, with significant accuracy.
It’s designed for the benefit of both business and personal relationships. Why? Because the nonconscious mind, which directs almost all nonverbal communication, doesn’t know if you are at the office or in the kitchen. It reacts.
I made the scientific aspects of nonverbal communication foolproof by creating a system that works for anyone.-Year olds can understand. In this program, I’ll walk you step-By-You will be guided through each step. I’ll teach you all the key secrets of nonverbal communication to skyrocket your sales, get your dream date, enjoy satisfying relationships, and be successful in your daily interactions with people.
I’ll reveal to you how to determine whether someone likes you or not. I’ll show you how to read with precision whether they are leaning towards a “yes” Or, “no.” As with any skill, it takes some time investment to learn.
The payoff? Enormous. You can control any situation.
In this course, we’ll analyze over 100 candid photos of celebrity couples in different settings. From the tilt of the head to where the the feet are pointed, you’ll know exactly what they’re thinking or feeling.
Because celebrity photos can be difficult to read, it is a great way to find out. “on”). But just like what you have already learned to see, the little cues tell quite a story – the story that the nonconscious is revealing, but the conscious mind is not.
Recent reports showed that I was right 46 times out of 48 when interpreting the nonverbal communication between Hollywood couples about whether they would split up within the next 2 years. That feat was never achieved. They are very difficult people. “act out” To seek public approval.
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