What You’ll Uncover in Steve Andreas Responding to Criticism (1988)
On the different excessive, some folks (maybe 20%) reply to criticism by merely rejecting it. They defend themselves from any unhealthy emotions,… File Dimension: 259 MB
Steve Andreas – Responding to Criticism (1988)
One of many elementary presuppositions of NLP is that “There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.” That’s a pleasant thought, and it factors in a really helpful route. Nevertheless, for a majority of individuals it’s only a cute sentence that doesn’t mechanically change their expertise or response. Most individuals (roughly 70%) reply to criticism with rapid over¬whelming unhealthy emotions. Then they struggle to climb out of the emotional gap they’ve simply dug for themselves by rationalizing, attempting to entry a great state, attempting to be goal, and many others. Since they’re already in a nasty state, often none of those makes an attempt work very effectively. And since most of their efforts are directed at regaining a great state, they sometimes don’t make good use of any suggestions info contained within the criticism. In the event that they do make use of this info, it’s often a lot later.
On the different excessive, some folks (maybe 20%) reply to criticism by merely rejecting it. They defend themselves from any unhealthy emotions, however additionally they stop themselves from even contemplating whether or not any a part of the criticism they obtain is legitimate or helpful suggestions.
A 3rd group (lower than 10%) can hear to criticism with out imme¬diately feeling unhealthy. They’ll additionally fastidiously contemplate whether or not the criticism accommodates helpful info, and use that suggestions in a productive method to modify their future conduct.
After all these three teams aren’t inflexible classes. You may most likely discover an instance of every of those totally different responses in your personal life, relying upon your mind-set, the context, the criticizer, the body, and many others. Most of us sometimes get into unhealthy states during which we reply unpleasantly to essentially the most innocuous remark. Most of us even have occasions after we’re in such a great state that irrespective of how harshly we’re criticized we will course of it merely as attention-grabbing info.
A number of years in the past we grew to become curious in regards to the inside construction that allowed the “experts” at responding effectively to criticism to do it with such ease. We have now modeled plenty of people who find themselves characteristically superb at responding to criticism in a helpful method. Whereas there are. slight variations, all of them use the identical fundamental inside course of, and this technique might be simply and rapidly taught to others.
Instance
(The next transcript is edited from a videotape of Steve demon¬strating how to set up this technique in Carl, a participant in one in all our Practitioner Certification Trainings in January, 1987. This demonstration and a few further dialogue is offered on a videotape.
Steve: We’re going to do two issues as I show this. One, I’m going to show putting in the technique itself, and going by means of the totally different forks of the technique and so forth. The opposite factor I’m going to do is show a sneaky method of putting in a method, and that’s by doing it in a dissociated state. And that’s going to be sort of a visit for you, Carl, as a result of you aren’t that hip on dissociation, are you?
Carl: Um, no, I like doing dissociation.
Get instantly obtain Steve Andreas – Responding to Criticism (1988)
Steve: Are you able to do this? (Umhm.) OK. Nice. So what I would like you to do is see Carl out right here in some state of affairs during which somebody may give him some sort of suggestions which could possibly be construed as criticism. You simply see it on the market, OK? (Carl leans again somewhat.) There you go! That’s higher. Good. You may see him as far-off as you need. You may put a sheet of Plexiglas right here in order for you. (Carl smiles and nods.) Oh, you want that one, don’t you? OK, good. And I would like you to keep on this dissociated state. What you’re going to do is watch him undergo this technique. So you might be simply going to be an observer, and your perform as an observer is to word at any time if any sort of issues give you him on the market. Then you’ll be able to let me find out about these after which we will do one thing to make it proper. (OK.)
OK, nice. So you might be simply going to watch this. And one other method of framing this for folks is that we’re simply going to attempt it out, out right here, and we’re not going to set up it in him till it’s all performed, and it’s completely OK out right here; we’re not going to do something to him in right here. Now in a method that could be a little bit of a rip-off. However it’s a actually helpful rip-off with some people who find themselves actually cautious: “Nnnehh, don’t meddle with my brain,” or one thing like that. In a single sense it’s true that it’s going to not be put in till and except any ecological considerations have been handled. In order that a part of it’s true. Nevertheless, if you end up seeing your self out right here going by means of it, you might be additionally studying by self—metaphor inside. So that is the you that’s going to be taught a brand new method of responding to criticism, as a result of I assume you aren’t too proud of the one you’ve bought proper now. Is that proper?
Carl: (shaking head) No method, Jose. I don’t prefer it.
Steve: OK, good. So see him on the market, and in a second another person goes to say one thing which could possibly be construed as criticism. And what he’s gong to do is one thing very, essential. He’s going to dissociate from the criticism. (OK.) So you’re going to watch him—(Carl: Dissociate, whereas I’m dissociated.) If you are dissociated, proper. (Oh, OK.)
Steve: It’s kind of just like the phobia process, the place you’ve a 3—place dissociation, and the perform is identical. So somebody goes to say one thing to Carl. And you may simply make it up, what any individual may come over and say to him. And that Carl over there’s going to maintain this away in some way, (OK.) till he has had an opportunity to utterly consider it. Now there are a few ways in which he can do it. He can hear the phrases and picture them printed out in house at arm’s size. Or he can hear to them, however at a distance. (OK.)
And he can do this in a number of other ways and you may simply watch and see how he does that. So, watch him as he hears the criticism. And it’s some sort of criticism about him. And he’s going to maintain that kind of at arm’s size. He’s going to keep dissociated from it. And he’s going to then make an image of no matter that criticism is, ideally a film. So he’s going to make a illustration of the criticism, dissociated. (OK.) After which he’s going to evaluate that film with a film of no matter finest info he has about that very same state of affairs. Is that clear? (Yeah.) OK. To judge it and say, “Well, does that make sense?” Is there a way that he could make sense out of that? Now, as you watch him do this, canhe make some understanding of that? Does it make sense that somebody might have stated that about him?
Carl: It makes a whole lot of sense.
OK, it makes a whole lot of sense. At this level I would like you to watch him determine on what sort of response he needs to make to that info. As a result of if it is smart, meaning it’s good info that he didn’t have earlier than, proper? (Yeah.) So he may say, “Thank you,” or “Boy, I’m glad you brought that to my attention. I’ll see what I can do about that.” Or no matter.
Carl: Already he doesn’t really feel like shit inside. I imply—(laughter). That’s a great plan.
Carl: It simply feels an entire lot higher.
OK. And it’s going to be simpler for him now to make good use of no matter info is there as a result of he doesn’t really feel like shit inside, proper?
Carl: Proper! Proper. It’s a entire lot simpler for him to be goal about it.
Precisely. That’s what “objective” is, by the way in which. “Objective” means you might be dissociated. So, as you watch him, I would like you to discover him undergo the method of deciding what sort of response is suitable to this example, by way of what he may do otherwise sooner or later; some sort of adjustments that he may determine he needs to undergo, or no matter could be acceptable, a helpful response to this info that has simply been given to him. . . . OK, so he has gone by means of the choice course of. And now have him truly carry that out, whether it is acceptable to do this now and reply to this. Any individual criticized him, proper? So if there’s an acceptable response to this particular person like, “Thank you for bringing this to my attention,” or “Boy, I screwed up,” or¬
Carl: Yeah! That’s precisely what he did. He thanks the particular person!
That’s a brand new one, huh? As a substitute of punching him out.
Carl: Yeah. He by no means thanked him earlier than. Up to now it wasn’t a lot anger in direction of the particular person, it was simply anger in direction of himself (OK, all proper), and he doesn’t have to really feel offended at himself any extra. He can settle for it as studying.
Nice. And when he has accomplished that interplay with that particular person, I would like you to watch him as he takes the time to future—tempo doing one thing totally different sooner or later. So he has made some selections about what he missed, or he didn’t discover, or he was careless, or no matter it was. (Proper.)
How can he future—tempo a brand new conduct? He might need to determine on a brand new conduct first. What’s he going to do otherwise sooner or later, as you watch him future—tempo that—so he goes by means of the choice when and the place does he need to be totally different, and the way, particularly. You may rapidly run by means of some outdated responses or use the “New Behavior Gener¬ator,” or no matter. OK. Has he performed that change already? (Yeah.) OK.
Carl: Actually, yeah. He doesn’t really feel the strain inside. He’s glad the entire thing occurred within the first place, as a result of he’s studying from it.
Is that this somewhat totally different than your previous experiences?
Carl: He has by no means skilled that in his life. By no means!
It appears prefer it, doesn’t it? (laughter) It appears like he simply noticed an angel come down out of the sky!
Carl: It’s best, , and the context is with household, and—he simply has not had a straightforward time with household earlier than, however that is simply—I imply, he’s truly smiling.
OK. I would really like you to run by means of a unique state of affairs, somewhat bit totally different. So once more you see him out right here and no one’s round but. (OK.) And this time, any individual’s going to come up and both give a really obscure criticism like “You skunk,” or “You turkey,” or one thing like that, in order that he has to truly pause and collect info—as a result of he hears “You turkey” and he makes an image of a turkey and he makes an image of himself and so they don’t match, proper? (laughter) So he’s going to have to collect info like, “Well, can you tell me more? How, specifically, am I a turkey?” or no matter, till he will get the data: “What is this person really commenting on?”
Carl: “What are they trying to tell him?”
“What are they trying to tell him?” And he can do that in a reasonably well mannered, impartial method as a result of he’s simply¬
Carl: He can dissociate.
Dissociate. And he simply needs to have the data. And when he has bought enough info that he could make a film of what this particular person is anxious about, then he can once more undergo this factor. . . . Now, his time round does it match or not?
Carl: After they’ve advised him?
After they’ve given him some particulars, is there some sort of match. . . somewhat bit?
Carl: Yeah. It was extra of a humorous factor than the rest. (OK.) However he most likely wouldn’t have recognized that if he hadn’t requested the questions. “How specifically am I a turkey? (laughter) In the past he probably wouldn’t have questioned it. He would have just thought, “Yeah, I’m a turkey.” Both that, or “Screw you, you’re a turkey, too.”
Proper. Screw you, OK. Now watch him, as he once more goes by means of this process of deciding what response to make to this particular person. You might have performed this already. After which sooner or later is there any method that he needs to behave otherwise? Is there something helpful? And typically, whether it is only a playful factor, it might be simply sort of banter forwards and backwards and doesn’t matter, and there’s probably not any impetus to change conduct. . . .
OK, now I would like you to run by means of it yet one more time. This time some actual weirdo comes up simply out of the blue on the road and makes some bizarre remark you could’t make head nor tail out of. (OK.) And once more he asks, , “Well, can you say more about this?” Or, “How specifically?” or one thing like that. And he simply will get “word salad” again, ; it is a schizophrenic who simply bought unfastened from the hospital or one thing. And whenever you make a film of what his footage are, and what you’ll be able to keep in mind of what simply occurred, it simply doesn’t match in any respect. (Proper.) And at a sure level you say, “Thanks, but no thanks,” or “Excuse me,” or one thing like that. You make a concerted effort to discover out what the particular person means, and if there’s any actual info on this—or is that this simply an insult that comes out of their very own inside house, during which case you’ll be able to safely dismiss it, since you don’t have any— (Carl: It’s not value it.) It’s not value it, as a result of it doesn’t have info that you really want to use to change your conduct sooner or later, proper?
Carl: You aren’t going to be taught from it.
Proper. OK, now, watching that Carl over there undergo all that, I
collect this feels actual good. Proper? (Actual good.) It appears good? (Seems to be good.) Is there any downside with any a part of that? Is there any a part of that that you’d need to regulate in any method, or that you’ve got any considerations about? . . .
Get instantly obtain Steve Andreas – Responding to Criticism (1988)
Carl: The one factor is that I simply—I would like this to occur. I would like to be in there. I don’t need to be dissociated! (laughter)
Nicely, that’s the subsequent step. However it appears good on the market, proper? (No issues.) OK, nice.
OK, steadily attain out and beckon to that one on the market (Steve demonstrates reaching out along with his arms after which bringing them slowly again towards his chest), and really steadily, at your personal velocity, simply deliver him in to you, and make him completely part of you. (Carl reaches out and brings the opposite Carl again in. As he does this, there are a whole lot of nonverbal shifts—deeper respiration, shade adjustments, and many others.—that point out a strong integration with a whole lot of feeling.) . . . Take a few minutes, to take that every one in. . . . Simply dangle on the market for some time. . . . (Carl wipes his eyes.) It is a biggie for you, isn’t it? (Carl nods.) I’m glad you got here up right here. That’s good. . . . So that you simply take some time to dangle in there for some time and simply let all that stuff sort of cool down. Take as a lot time as you need. I’m going to undergo stuff with the group; you simply dangle on the market.
OK, do you’ve any questions? You may check out the define sheet in order for you. OK.
Dee: Nicely, both I missed it or one thing, however you didn’t have him do one, that I noticed, the place any individual that he actually cared about, revered, admired, and he was actually shut to, stated one thing completely cheesy, tasteless, and cruel to him.
When you’re in a small group, guarantee that they do this with you. (laughter)
Dee: OK. Nicely, I imply it’s advantageous if some clown walks up to you, you go (she shrugs) “Who cares?” But when any individual you care about does that, it isn’t all that simple to take.
It’s totally different, proper. Now he truly picked any individual in his family—
Carl: That’s what I began out with.
So he truly began out with one thing like that.
Carl: As a result of, , so far as I’m involved, that’s the hardest—was the toughest for me, and I didn’t get offended at the one that gave it to me. I used to be offended at myself for not having the ability to reply to it in the way in which I would really like to. And, so far as my family goes, I do know that they love me within the first place, and of their eyes it’s constructive. It’s simply that the way in which I used to be receiving it, . I’d mechanically second guess myself on one thing I used to be doing, and mechanically simply go, “Yeah, I’m this rotten person.” And so I knew that their intentions had been good; it was simply how I responded to it. And having the ability to dissociate and watch me dissociate¬
Dee: OK. However would you’ve felt the identical method if what they stated—such as you stated “Oh, yeah, I can see that that’s valid.” Suppose that it was completely not legitimate for you. It might need been for them and so they may suppose so, however it’s completely not actual to you that that’s true. Would you’ve felt the identical method?
Carl: As I used to be watching it like that? Sure. I’m protected. Earlier than, previously, it simply was coming proper into me. (Carl gestures towards his mid—chest.) However to find a way to see what they’re telling me up on an image and have that dissociation is rather like the quick phobia treatment, it permits you to expertise one thing, and be other than it, so that you don’t have to affiliate and really feel like crap about it. (Take it in physiologically.) That’s proper. You possibly can say something to me proper now, in order for you, and we will check it out.
Dee: Nicely, I don’t have something imply to say to you.
I’ve taught this a whole lot of occasions, however you’ve actually been the slowest. (Carl appears up and smiles.) That is testing. That is referred to as testing, proper?
Dee: I believed he was essentially the most touching. He bought me proper in my coronary heart.
If there’s a explicit state of affairs, Dee, that’s the one which at all times will get you or one thing like that, I like to recommend that you simply don’t use that as the very first thing to run by means of this. As a result of whenever you’re first studying to drive, you don’t get in a automotive and go straight to Le Mans or Daytona Seashore or one thing like that—you be taught, hopefully, on a mud monitor or a soccer area or one thing like that. However by all means do use this with no matter is for you essentially the most troublesome sort of criticism to take, whether or not it’s a boss or a partner or a baby, or whoever. By all means use it sooner or later, after you’ve gained some fluency with the totally different steps, as a result of in any other case you might get caught in a single step and the entire thing might disintegrate. By all means check it. And I agree with what I believe is the intent of your remark: “Well, you know, this may work on some things, but how about those real tough ones?” By all means do it on the robust ones. It can work on that in case you actually set up the system, as a result of the technique—similar to the quick phobia treatment—establishes that dissociation so to watch all of it on the market. One of many pretty issues about this set up methodology is that if the you on the market screws up.
Carl: You might be shielded from it.
You might be protected. You may simply watch it, after which you’ll be able to simply again up the film and say, “OK” and also you make some adjustment, and then you definitely run it ahead once more, in order that—
Carl: You have got complete management, no matter occurs.
Comply with—up Interview
So it has been about two weeks now. So, inform the parents on the market.
Carl: Nicely, after the criticism technique was put in, a few
folks right here would—out of the clear blue sky—simply stroll up to me and name me a jerk and stuff, after which they might begin laughing as a result of they had been simply attempting to check it, however¬—
In order that wasn’t an excellent check, proper?
Carl: No, the actual world is the place it wanted to be performed. And in my job, I by no means realized this earlier than, however I am going into folks’s houses, and I take away gear that my firm has put in there. And once I take away it, it leaves holes of their partitions, and in every single place. They usually initially signed a contract that we’re not accountable or something. I’m the particular person there, and I’m the one which they yell and scream at. I by no means realized earlier than that that will hassle me, , unconsciously. However when it will occur within the final two weeks, I’d mechanically take a step again (Carl’s physique strikes again barely) and I’m doing it proper now as a result of I’m remembering it. And when it will first begin taking place, it will consciously occur and I’d see it, and determine whether or not it was value it or not, and go on from there. And the extra it will occur, the sooner it grew to become. So the folks I work with, they only wired it in actually nice for me. So I used to be nearly reframing. It was like, , “Keep it up, man! This is great for me,”
The extra the higher. (Yeah.) That’s the way it works. If you set up a brand new system like that, the extra it will get to run, the extra automated it turns into. Now, you stated consciously you’d take a step again. It was that you simply aware¬ly seen, proper? (Proper.) It wasn’t that you’d consciously take into consideration doing it, proper?
Carl: No, no, no, no. That occurred by itself. A few occasions throughout driving—I do a whole lot of driving—I’d lower any individual off and it will work actual effectively there, too. (laughter) Particularly, , previously I’d at all times be going, “Oh, I am a terrible driver,” after which if it was warranted, I’d say, “Yeah, effectively, subsequent time I’ve to perform a little bit higher. “
Good. I used to be somewhat fearful there for a second that I’d turned you right into a awful driver.
Carl: I believe the most effective check occurred yesterday. I bought my hair lower, and I felt fairly good about it. I believed it appeared fairly good, and I went house, simply to my dad and mom. I don’t dwell there, however I simply glided by to see them. And I stated, “I got my hair cut, Mom.” And he or she checked out me and she or he goes, “What about the back?” again right here, as a result of often I get all of it lower. And he or she was critical, , “What about the back?” And immediately: step again, “Is this warranted?” “No.” It was actually highly effective. And for it to be together with her—the household scene—and for me not to plan, it was completely unconscious, and it was actually highly effective. So, I’m successful.
OK. Thanks rather a lot.
Carl: Thanks.
(We now have comply with—up 15 years after this session; Carl nonetheless responds effectively to criticism, and he has additionally taught the method to his youngsters. )
Evaluation of the Course of
1. Set up the technique in a dissociated state. “Ann. see yourself out there in front of you. That Ann is about to learn a new way to respond to criticism.” Do no matter you want to do to keep the dissociation.
“You can see Ann as far away as you want to, or in black and white, and you can put up a plexiglass barrier in front of you if that helps you stay here as an observer.”
All the time use pronouns and site phrases, akin to “her, out there,” to maintain that distance and dissociation. Make certain to look ahead to the nonverbals of dissociation. When Carl was first up right here, he began seeing himself over there, after which his shoulders and head got here again, which was a great indication that he was getting extra totally dissociated. So guarantee that the shopper appears totally different when she is dissociated than when she is related.
A number of folks will want to use auditory dissociation—listening to them¬selves on a tape recorder at one other location in house—or very not often even kinesthetic dissociation—feeling themselves with their fingertips at one other location in house. You can even use the “as if” body or obscure language for individuals who don’t consciously visualize: “Pretend that you can see yourself over there.” “Get a sense that you are behind a plexiglass shield.”
2. Dissociate from the criticism. “That Ann over there is about to be criticized. Watch and listen as she immediately dissociates from the criticism.” There are numerous methods for her to do that. A technique is for that Ann over there to see herself getting criticized. One other method is for her to print the phrases of the criticism out in house at about arm’s size, or she will be able to step out of her physique and see herself receiving the criticism. If easy dissociation alone isn’t sufficient to maintain that Ann in entrance of you in a resourceful state, attempt utilizing another supporting submodality shifts. Have that Ann make that dissociated image of being criticized smaller, farther away, clear, dimmer, or every other submodality shift that sufficiently diminishes her response. The dissociation prevents the rapid unhealthy really feel¬ings that so many individuals expertise, and it additionally supplies the target viewpoint crucial for the following step.
3. Make a dissociated illustration of the content material of the criticism. “Watch Ann as she makes a movie of what the criticizer is saying.” Once more, that Ann could make this illustration smaller and farther away to ensure that her to keep a resourceful state. Some folks make such massive, brilliant, and shut footage of the “awful” factor they did, that it’s very troublesome for them to keep a useful resource state. She will be able to transfer it far sufficient away, or no matter, in order that she might be snug, but nonetheless see it clearly.
Earlier than you’ll be able to consider criticism, you want to perceive it. What does this particular person imply? If somebody says, “You’re twenty minutes late; now we’ll either have to rush or be late to the movie,” you’ll be able to simply make a fairly detailed inside illustration of that info in all main representational programs.
Nevertheless, usually criticism is simply too obscure to perceive effectively. If somebody says, “You’re a skunk,” or “You’re inconsiderate,” that Ann could have to collect extra particular info so as to know precisely what the criticizer means. Earlier than asking for extra info, it’s at all times helpful to tempo the criticizer ultimately: “I’m concerned that you think I’m a skunk,” “I appreciate your honesty in telling me that,” “I’m sorry that I upset you,” and many others. Then you’ll be able to ask, “What specifically did I do that was inconsiderate?”
“Watch that Ann continue to gather information until she can make a clear and detailed representation of the criticism in all major representa¬tional systems.”
4. Consider the criticism, gathering info when crucial. “Watch Ann as she compares her representation of the criticism with all other information she has about the situation, in order to find out if they match or mismatch.” The only and most direct method to do that is to have Ann rerun her personal remembered motion pictures of the occasion and evaluate them with a film of the criticism. She will be able to additionally run motion pictures of the occasion from totally different viewpoints, together with that of the criticizer, an onlooker, or one other related particular person. If she has feedback from different onlookers, these can also be helpful in evaluating whether or not or not the criticism accommodates legitimate, helpful info.
If there’s a full mismatch between the reminiscence and the criticism when she does this, she might have to again up to Step 2 and collect extra details about the criticism. For example, she might not have understood that when the criticizer stated she was “shouting” and “ranting,” he meant that the amount and pitch of her voice elevated by 10%, and that is one thing that he’s very delicate to due to a historical past of being abused.
If there’s nonetheless a whole mismatch after repeated info—gath¬ering, it might be time for her to conclude that she merely disagrees. The criticizer could also be hallucinating or in another method internally producing expertise. His feedback aren’t actually about her, however about himself, his previous historical past, and many others. After all it’s additionally potential that she might have amnesia for what he’s speaking about, or that her perspective is so totally different that she hasn’t but discovered a method to perceive the criticizer. Relying on the state of affairs, it mayor is probably not worthwhile for her to proceed to work towards understanding.
Often there will probably be at the least some match between that Ann’s repre¬sentation and the critizer’s. When that is true, she will be able to acknowledge the components that match, and ask for extra details about the components that she doesn’t but perceive.
When the 2 representations do match, that is equal to saying that in accordance to her finest info—and the extra she has, the higher!—the criticism is correct suggestions info that’s helpful for her to find out about.
5. Determine on a response. “Watch Ann as she decides what she wants to do.” To date her solely response to the criticizer has been pacing and knowledge—gathering. It’s now time for a response, even when it’s solely an all—goal response, akin to, “Thank you for bringing this to my attention; I’ll have to give this some serious thought.” Ann’s response will depend upon who she is as an individual—her outcomes, standards, values—in addition to the context and the criticism itself. She might want to provide an apology, and even some sort of restitution to compensate for what she’s performed. Then again, if her intention was to annoy the criticizer, a easy, “You got my message” could also be acceptable. If there’s a full mismatch, she will be able to reply by saying merely, “That’s certainly not the way I remember it.” If his view is a potential interpretation of her conduct, she will be able to say, “That certainly isn’t the message I meant to convey, but I can see how you could understand it that way. What I intended to do was Y,” and make clear the misunderstanding.
“Observe Ann as she carries out her chosen response.”
6. Contemplate altering future conduct. “Ask the Ann out there, ‘Do you want to use the information you got from this criticism to act differently in the future?’ “ If so, watch as Ann selects the new behavior(s), and future—paces the new behavior(s). In step five, you watched Ann respond to the criticizer in the “present.” On this step, you watch Ann determine whether or not she needs to regulate her conduct so as to get a unique response from the criticizer or others sooner or later. If she does need to be totally different sooner or later, now could be the time for her to choose or create new behaviors and future—tempo them into the suitable contexts. If she doesn’t have time in the mean time, she will be able to take a minute to carefull
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