The Creative Writing Class 2023 – Meat & Hair (Ash Ambirge)

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What You’ll Discover in The Creative Writing Class 2023 – Meat & Hair (Ash Ambirge)

The Creative Writing Class 2023 – Meat & Hair (Ash Ambirge)

If this is you, wave your pen in the air like you just don’t care 
We’ll ignore the fact that that pen looks like a squid imitating a microphone— let’s see if this sounds like you!

You write content on the internet  like newsletters, blog posts, essays, articles, courses, lead magnets, sales pages, books, socials, and sometimes inadvertent passive aggressive emails to clients—AND ALSO…

You’re fun in real life (you swear!) but you can never seem to get it on the page. Everything you write ends up sounding a liiiiiitle bit like a term paper. (Okay, fine, a lot.) You read your stuff back to yourself and basically want to just walk straight into the ocean.

Worse, you end up sounding way more salesy & “bro marketing” than you intend: everything feels forced, you worry you sound too pushy, it’s all a bit generic, trite, and cliché sounding, and the whole entire process is exhausting and time-consuming…you’re starting to dread “content creation.

And honestly? Most of the time you feel like you’re spitting into the wind.  You’re working so damn hard to “create content” but nobody seems to care / notice / open your Magna Carta masterpieces. Is it your subject lines? Your writing voice? That one time you said the F-word? (And then heard from 50 people who were offended…)

Big, sparkly bonus points if you’re also: (a) a non-native speaker of English; (b) A scientist or academic surrounded by other scientists and academics; (c) A corporate professional for whom internet writing is now foreign because you’ve been ruinnnneeeed!; (d) Stacey’s mom. We’ve been waiting to meet you since 2003.

Or how about these fun-filled symptoms? You ever experience these filthy thoughts while writing / procrastinating /contemplating binge nachos?

Ugh, that sounds stupid. What am I, a prepubescent crotch molecule?

On paper I never sound like myself—I swear I’m way more fun than this.

Who is this formal, stiff, characterless corporate robot???

GENERIC CITYYYYYY.

Everybody else is more clever / creative / cool / funny than me.

Why do I even bother?

Is anybody even reading this? Hello?

I SOUND LIKE MR. ROGERS ATE A SOCCER MOM.

I can’t seem to communicate what I really think and feel.

I always sound awkward.

Yeah, nice caption, dipwit. “Comment below if you agree!” Real original, Jan!

No one’s clicking. No one’s buying. No one even cares I’m alive.

Am I wasting my time? Should I be cashing people out at Aldi’s Discount Warehouse? Would that be a better use of my time?

Another launch with zero fanfare. Cool, cool, cool.

I don’t even know what “my voice” is. (That fabled, elusive parable of the gods.)

What’s too much? What’s not enough? How do I ride the line between professional & personality?

“Just following up!” I wrote (yet) again, unsure what else to say.

Standing out is a cruel myth. We are all selling the same thing! How much different can I be?!

Writing isn’t even fun anymore—it’s just a giant, fleshy, smelly armpit of a chore…except I gotta do it, because this is what my entire career / life / marriage / FUTURE HOBBY AS OPRAH IS RIDING ON.

“Salepage: https://www.meatandhair.com/creative-writing-school”

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